After going through my “Heart to Heart” inbox, I noticed a bunch of repeating questions referring to high school, friendships, and not feeling good enough for the guys at school. Since back to school season is pretty much here, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about my experience with friendships/guys in high school, and feeling just like so many of you.
Let’s start off by saying I was definitely not an angel. I was immature, would gossip like most 14 year olds do, and had a lot of lessons to learn. A majority of my middle school/high school experience was just.. weird! If we went to school together and you’re reading this – I’m only bringing this up because I think it could be helpful for a lot of people. I’ve already forgiven you.. and honestly don’t care anymore!
Anyways, it all started in 7th/8th grade (it’s all kind of foggy, so I can’t remember exact times) when I started out at my 7th-12th grade high school and made this huge group of friends. That middle school age is the time where you start hanging out a little later on the weekends, start hugging boys (lol), and really just start discovering who you are. After about a year of forming these friendships and doing really well at school, I was bullied for how I look. A group of the guys in my grade pretty much tortured me. While they were getting along just great with my friends, I was the one constantly being made fun of. I was made fun of by another group of guys for my weight. It’s crazy how like 7 years later, I can clearly remember moments like that.
I lost all my friends that year, and soon made a new group of friends who were in the grade below me. School was always kind of awkward for me because I didn’t have classes with them. I had one really close friend who is my age that ate lunch with me and stuck by me the whole time. I transferred schools my junior year to see if that would help me, but I went back a few months later because I didn’t like the new school I was at either. I was basically just all over the place lol.
The insecurities those events caused me took years to get out of my head. I don’t think people (especially middle school/ high school guys) realize how their words could really damage a person for longer than they think. I never felt good enough for guys. I always thought there was something wrong with how I look, how much I weigh, and just overall who I was. I was always thinking about how I could change to be good enough. It wasn’t until the end of my junior year that I had my first real kiss, and first guy that I really talked to, who ended up being my first boyfriend. But there was still this underlying insecurity that I wasn’t good enough.
As much as it sucked at the time, I’m so glad it all happened. I like to think I’m a really strong, smart, independent girl, and it’s situations like this that you have to turn around to benefit you. I now know the importance of confidence and truly appreciating myself. I know I’m enough and no one else defines that. Also – that time in 8th grade was the period where I discovered YouTube. I made the best of friendships that I still have to this day on YouTube. It’s crazy what would’ve happened if I wasn’t in the situation I was in and never found that. Who knows what I’d be doing!
I’m writing this for 2 reasons:
If you’re in high school: please please be kind to everyone, and use your words wisely. You really never know what someone is going through, or how your words could impact them. I never want any girl to feel how I did, so please just be the best person you could be this year! Sit with kids at lunch who you’ve never talked to, wear what it is that you want to wear, and stick up for people who need it.
If you’re in the position I was in: please know it’s temporary and will pass. Middle school/ high school kids are extremely immature and don’t even realize what they’re doing. It’s ok to not have the guys all over you. Your time will come for that, I promise. It’s ok to lose all of your friends, because room is being made for really special friendships. Just be the best you can be, and the rest will fall into place. They want to see it get to you, so do everything you can to not let it.
I’ve forgiven everyone, and became friendly with everyone again as high school went on, especially my senior year. It’s important to move on and let go, no matter what was said or done!
Thanks for reading. Hope this could help you out!